Trying to Find Balance

A few months ago, I thought I had it figured out. Why not go to New York and try to make it? After all, I was unemployed and hadn't been able to find any kind of job around here. I was unemployed anyway, so there was nothing to lose! And, I said, I'd rather be an out-of-work actor than an out-of-work cubicle-dweller.

But now I do have a job. More important, I have a job I love. So now I'm confused.

For the time being, I've decided to focus on my new career. It would be stupid to throw away a great job to move to New York after only a few months on the job. Plus, the economy sucks. So I've decided that I'm not even going to audition for any upcoming community theatre shows. At least not for a while. (I've also stepped away from my voice lessons. Since I'm not in auditioning or performing mode, there's less of a need. Plus I wanted to save the expense, at least for a little while.)

I feel good about that decision ... but it also scares me. Am I selling out? Am I deferring my dreams yet again? Can I be truly happy in this new career, or do I eventually need an acting career to feel fulfilled?

It's all about balance.

Having no job but a thriving theatrical life is fun at first. But after a while, the lack of balance begins to be too much of a negative. I think I did need a) something else going on in my life and b) for the financial/emotional turmoil of joblessness to end. For right now, focusing on a new exciting job is great. And after a while, I'm sure the lack of a show will begin to really bother me.

At the moment, I'm enjoying where I am and what the immediate future holds. And I'm trying to figure out what the hell to do next.