Stress Relief

I have had a very stressful and upsetting past couple of days. I'd kind of been crying off and on for most of Thursday and Friday. Friday night I had a rehearsal. As I drove the 45 minutes by myself, I cried some more. (And the fact that I had makeup on was the only thing that kept me from completely dissolving into tears.)

I knew I needed to leave my outside troubles outside. Not the easiest thing to do. Before the rehearsal started, I felt ready to work but still rather depressed.

Once I got on stage, though... Ah, this is why I do what I do! The real world falls away. It's my character and the world of the play. I thought it might be difficult to focus or be in character when I was so upset. Not a bit. (If anything, it might have been easier.)

"Playing pretend" was my greatest joy since I was a little kid. And it still is. I felt so much better for having been someone else for a couple hours. I felt so much better for having a productive and creative rehearsal.

I have theatre to keep me sane. I don't know what I'd do without it.

Turning

I told a fellow cast member (our dance captain and the best dancer in the show) that I'm not very good at turns. Turns require strength, coordination, balance and technique (i.e. spotting). I'm okay with simple turns, maybe an occasional single pirouette. Probably the biggest reason I'm not good at turning is that I have never learned to spot effectively. (And that probably comes from not actually taking dance classes.)

Tonight the choreographer asked me to do three chainé turns in a section of the dance. Chainé turns I can do — more or less. But I'll definitely need to practice them. And she asked me whether I could do pirouettes. I said, "I'm learning. I can do a single; I can't do a double." (And I don't think I could learn to do a clean, consistent double before the show.)

Time to practice my turning. And time to learn how to spot.

A Professional Level

I got a comment on my Facebook from our former accompanist, who said, "you're always so professional, prepared, and ready to get right to work." It's absolutely true, but it still makes me feel good. It's nice to know my efforts are noticed. I really feel a difference in myself. Since I really set my mind to performing professionally, I realized that one thing I could do right now was to start behaving as though I already am. It may be "just" community theatre, but that's no reason for me not to work as hard at it as possible. I've made it a point to be attentive, know my lines, etc.

I also need to find an opportunity to talk to the director and tell him I don't mind being pushed. I think there's a natural (and appropriate) inclination in community theatre to let a good performance go without much criticism. But, really, I would like to make a good performance into a great performance. I'm willing to hear more constructive criticism and be pushed and challenged. I want to take my game to the next level.

And a random off-topic comment: I've been practicing my poi lately. I really want to spin fire again this summer. Also, poi is a unique special skill that's neat on my performance resume.

Casting News

I got cast as Martha Jefferson in 1776.

Also, my husband got cast as Edward Rutledge, and a good friend got cast as the Courier.

It Goes Both Ways

At Sunday's rehearsal for Annie, I felt extremely frustrated, leading me to feel very cranky. I was upset over the inefficiency of rehearsal (due to a combination of the way it was structured and people not knowing their material). I griped to my friends about how irritating the rehearsal was. After rehearsal, I made a polite request to the director that we make time for the one song that we never seem to get to. I complained on the way home. And then I decided to let it go, stop being so annoyed and find more patience and an easy-going attitude.

And then, once I wasn't wallowing in frustration I realized that while I was upset over other people being what I thought was unprofessional ... my attitude was just as unprofessional (and possibly moreso). Now I feel embarrassed and ashamed.

Moving on. I'm looking forward to rehearsal tonight to redeem Sunday (both in terms of rehearsal itself and in terms of my attitude).