No ego

Last night was the first meeting for Urinetown. They handed out scripts and talked about expectations.

At one point, the producer was talking about how egos weren't welcome. Every person is part of the cast and no more or less important than any other cast member. He singled me out randomly and said, "Kristin's playing Hope. But she's just as much a part of the ensemble as anybody else." The team emphasized that there are no "stars."

I wanted to laugh because, for me, the thought of having a gigantic ego over having a large role is ludicrous. Getting this part doesn't give me an overinflated ego. It gives me just enough of a boost to convince me that I'm not insane, that I do have talent and that I'm not doomed to an endless string of rejections.

Ego isn't really based on getting cast. If it were, what does that mean about the size of my ego considering all the rejections I've suffered recently?

My voice teacher said, "All the pretty girls want to play the lead." I agree, but...

I said, sure, I'd always love to play the lead. But guess what? I'd also quite happily play the third girl from the left. And I have. Countless times. This is only my second lead in a musical. I've had a blast playing "Woman #1" (really!) in Sweet Charity and in the ensemble in Jesus Christ Superstar and several other shows.