2008

I'm not normally the type of person to make New Year's resolutions. After all, what is the new year, really? It's a new day. New days happen all the time. If you really want to change your life, you'll do it at any time. I quit smoking on June 20, a date with no special meaning. I didn't even have my last cigarette at midnight. So nothing about the timing was important. What mattered was that I made up my mind to do it. And I did it.

So, as I look forward to 2008, I find myself making resolutions for the first time. 1) to aggressively pursue opportunities to further my acting career, 2) to practice my voice lessons at least once between lessons, 3) to be more physically active and improve my dance skills.

All of these are resolutions related to my acting career. And, I suppose that is my first subconscious change: to think of it as an acting career. True, I'm not making money on it (yet). But I've started to think of it as a career, even when it's community theatre and local classes.

My dance class and voice lessons are professional development. I call myself an actor and singer and try to avoid saying things like, "I want to be an actor/singer." I am those things! I'm also learning to stop feeling apologetic about acting. Here's something I had written last March:

I've been asked twice in the past week, "What is it you want to do?" And I say, "Well, I really want to be an actor..." I've realized that when I say that, I sound apologetic. Why am I apologizing? Maybe for two reasons: 1) It's that acting is not a "real" job mentality. We all have to work for a living. We don't like to work. We don't like our jobs. Why should I be so special? I guess part of me feels like I've answered the question with "Well, I really want to be rich and just shop all day." 2) It's like I'm crazy. It's the knowledge that it's so difficult to "make it," even with talent. It's slightly embarrassed for having such an impossible dream. Like I'd answered the question with "Well, I really want to found a colony on Mars." Oookay then, Kristin. You go ahead and do that. And it's that self-conscious feeling that I don't have enough talent to do it.

So, enough with being embarrassed. Enough with feeling like the odds are too long or my talent is too small. It's time for me to aggressively pursue whatever options I can.

Adam will be taking my headshot tomorrow. That's a very important thing to do for my career goals.