Acting conflicted

I remember reading once that being "conflicted" is one of the most difficult things to play. And I think it's true. I read a philosophy that it's not possible to play "conflicted." It's not possible to play wanting two things simultaneously. All that comes out is mud. Instead, the way to play being conflicted, is to strongly want one thing and then strongly want the other.

That makes a lot of sense, but it's still tricky. There's a lot of internal monologues going on. The challenge is to communicate it to the audience. It's difficult to find a balance that communicates well and looks good and fits with the character.

In Urinetown, I have a section where everyone is on one side or the other, except for conflicted me. And I have to go back and forth between what I want and what my motivations are. It is extremely challenging! And it's not showy like crying during a grief scene. It's just the kind of thing where I'll look like an idiot if I don't do it well. But even if I do it wonderfully, people aren't likely to stand up and cheer for my acting ability.

The scene still isn't where I want it. (And it isn't exactly where the director wants it either, but sometimes his direction doesn't make sense with what I think my character's motivations are.) I'm going to really concentrate on it tonight, and I hope I can finally nail it.