Emotional Roller-Coaster

The past few days have been a bit crazy emotionally.

Tuesday night I auditioned for Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. That audition went pretty well. It was tough to switch gears from being so deep into playing Hope to then have to play Southern-accented Maggie the Cat. There was another girl there who was quite good — though I thought I was better. And apparently there were other people who were good on Monday night. I really want the role of Maggie. I'm trying to decide whether I'd accept Mae, and I'm leaning toward no. We'll see how that one turns out.

After being out late eating post-audition sushi, I had to go home ... and memorize a Shakespearean monologue for an audition at 10 the next morning! Yes, I'm a procrastinator, but I would have preferred not to have had to do this at the last minute. Unfortunately, I had no time to memorize it earlier. Fortunately, I am extremely speedy at memorizing lines, so I memorized the monologue (Emilia from Act IV, Scene 3 of Othello) in about half an hour.

So I got up on Wednesday morning and went to audition for Vermont Stage Company and a director who is notoriously snobby about acting/casting. (I don't say that to be disparaging. It's just that if he doesn't think he can find the talent he's looking for in the local area, he'll go to New York to cast shows.) My goal going in was just to showcase myself well and not embarrass myself. Hey, I'm not very experienced with Shakespeare, and my monologue was under-prepared. I just wanted to not jeopardize any possible future auditions for him (by causing him to think, "Oh, here comes that girl who isn't good.")

I did the monologue. Then he said, he wanted me to do the monologue again and that he was going to give me "adjustment." So he told me to play it stronger. I did the monologue again. I could tell he seemed pleased during one point, and then he said, "Yeah!"

Success! Who knows whether I'll get in, and I won't hear for a while anyway. They're doing King Lear in the spring. But I think I did well and didn't embarrass myself. :)

Then between my giddy post-audition mood and the fact that it was opening night, I was bouncing around the house all day. I had no appetite and was feeling totally distracted.

The first performance I was kind of displeased with. There were some errors (not mine), problems with the monitor not working (which affected some of my songs) ... and just generally I don't think I did as well as I would have liked. So I was rather disappointed.

Then yesterday I tried to take it easy ... because I think I'm getting sick. (Several people in our cast are sick.) My throat hurt, and I didn't feel great vocally. But overall the show felt much better! Crazy. Friends and cast-mates told me I sounded good, even though I felt like I was struggling vocally.

So now I'm at work, feeling exhausted (and blue) and unwell. (My throat really hurts.) And my goal for the next two days is just to get through the performances in one piece, without killing my voice or getting more ill.

Last night, Cladwell (aka Patient Zero) gave me a shot of a concoction he was using for his voice: vinegar, water, cayenne pepper, lemon and honey. And it tasted like it, too! But I think it helped.